Self Esteem

One of the hardest things that I faced during my pregnancy was the constant intrusive questions from people once they realized that I was pregnant with twins. I endeavor not to be noticed or to bring attention to myself so being a 200 lb side show was kind of rough. I noticed that I would get testy when people asked me about how I conceived twins, how much weight I had gained, and especially during all of the ominous warning comments about how hard life was going to be.

Since the boys have been born people have either been awesome with me or have acted like we are the circus and it is totally appropriate to stare and say whatever comes to mind. Whether or not I get annoyed with people primarily depends on what kind of mood the boys are in. It sucks when I know they are going to explode and I just need to do one more thing before leaving a store and I see some crazy-eyed person making a beeline for us.

Recently we've notice that the boys are watching us all of the time and assessing our reaction to various stimulus. I know that I am their lens for viewing the world, My response guides their perception of what is safe, funny, worrisome or inappropriate. Accordingly I know that I have to be very careful of how I react to other people's reactions of them because this forms their sense of self-worth. This is a tough lesson for me to learn because when I see the crazy-eyed person I want to run, but I cannot. The other thing that I have started doing is dodging the twins questions.

Most people like to ask about gender and zygocity, occasionally how they were conceived too, and then wander off. I don't want them to think that they are special only because they are twins. So when people ask if they are twins I say "yes." And then tell them what their names are and something non-comparative about each of them. Then I run as fast as I can.