Dear Owen

Dear Owen,

When I woke up last week you were ten months old. Double digits. It seems like yesterday you were a newborn and now you can stand unassisted and are trying out those first steps.

One of the biggest changes each month is putting you to bed. We went from never really putting you to bed, just going upstairs at some random point at night, and placing you in the co-sleeper with Hamilton, just inches from my arm; to putting you in a shared crib with him in the nursery at eight weeks; to your own cribs at 3 months; and then to setting your first bedtime around six months.

I have never cursed the sound of your cries in the middle of the night. Instead, I would gather you up and snuggle down with you in our guest bed. You would press your nose against mine and put your little hand on my cheek and contentedly fall asleep. There in the middle of the night, it seemed so impossible that you had left my body and were living on the outside, where you will remain.

Now that you can crawl away it is no longer safe to sleep with you in the guest bed at night and I miss the way that it felt to have you sleeping against my chest with your baby breath on my neck. You were the perfect cuddler. But every once an and awhile you drowse off in my arms during your bedtime bottle and I lay back and hold you as close as these days that are flying by.

Love,

Mommy